Stop setting goals the wrong way (do this instead)

The goal-setting mistake 99% of people make !

Hey there,

Let me guess: You're already thinking about 2026 goals, right?

Maybe you've got your notebook ready. Maybe you're planning to make them SMART this time. Maybe you're telling yourself this year will be different.

I hate to break it to you, but if you're doing what most people do, you're setting yourself up to fail.

Here's why:

Most people set goals because they feel like they should. Not because the goals are authentically theirs.

They write down the usual suspects:

Then by February, the motivation is gone. By March, half the goals are abandoned. By December, they're wondering what went wrong.

The problem isn't discipline. The problem is you're setting goals that aren't actually yours.

After 15+ years coaching people on productivity and goal achievement, I've discovered what separates people who crush their goals from those who don't:

Successful people don't start by asking WHAT they want to achieve.

They start by asking WHO they need to become.

Let me show you exactly how this works.

Forget SMART goals for a minute. Before tactics, you need the right foundation.

Here are the three steps that actually work:

Stop asking: "What do I want to accomplish?"

Start asking: "Who do I need to be?"

Here's the exercise that will transform your entire 2026:

Project yourself to December 31, 2026.

Who are you at that moment? Not what you've achieved—who you've become?

Write out "I am" statements in present tense:

❌ "I want to be healthy" ✅ "I am a healthy, active person who takes care of my body"

❌ "I want to build a business" ✅ "I am a committed entrepreneur who shows up consistently"

❌ "I want better relationships" ✅ "I am a present, caring partner who prioritizes the people I love"

Why does this work?

When you define who you want to be in present tense, you step into that identity immediately. You start making decisions from that place.

And here's the magic: You'll instantly know if a goal is authentically yours or not.

If saying "I am a marathon runner" feels forced, maybe running a marathon isn't actually your goal. Maybe it's something you think you should want.

But if "I am someone who moves daily and feels energized" resonates? Now you're onto something real.

Once you've defined your "I am" statements, the goals become obvious.

For each identity, ask: What would this version of me naturally do?

Example:

Identity: "I am a healthy person who prioritizes physical wellbeing"

Goals that align:

See the difference?

You're not forcing yourself to want these things. You're simply asking: What would a healthy person naturally do?

This is the difference between motivation and identity:

Motivation = Trying to force yourself to do something you don't want to do

Identity = Doing what naturally aligns with who you are (or who you're becoming)

Make your goals concrete:

❌ "Get healthier" ✅ "Work out 4x/week for 30+ minutes"

❌ "Grow my business"
✅ "Generate $10K/month by Q4"

❌ "Be more present" ✅ "Device-free dinners 5 nights/week"

Here's where it all comes together.

Goals tell you what to achieve. Standards tell you how you'll get there.

Standards = Non-negotiable behaviors that support your identity and goals

This is the missing piece. People set goals but don't establish the standards required to achieve them.

Examples:

Identity: "I am a healthy, active person"

Standards:

Identity: "I am a professional who respects their time and value"

Standards:

Identity: "I am a present, caring partner"

Standards:

When you have clear standards, discipline becomes easier because you're not making the same decision over and over.

You've already decided. You're just honoring your standards.

Standards aren't things you should do. They're the natural expression of your chosen identity.

Let me show you the complete framework in action:

IDENTITY: "I am a successful content creator who shows up consistently and builds meaningful connections."

GOALS:

STANDARDS:

See how it flows? The identity drives the goals. The goals are supported by standards.

When all three align, achieving what you want becomes almost inevitable.

Here's what to do right now:

1. Define Your "I Am" Statements

Project to end of 2026. Who are you? Write 3-5 statements in present tense.

2. Set Aligned Goals

For each "I am," define 2-3 specific, measurable goals.

3. Establish Your Standards

For each identity/goal, define the non-negotiable standards you'll maintain.

Don't rush this. Sit with each identity statement.

Does it feel authentic? Does it resonate with who you truly want to become?

Or is it what you think you should want?

Remember: The difference between people who achieve their goals and those who don't isn't discipline. It's alignment.

Your standards will determine the level you reach in 2026.

Not your goals. Not your discipline. Your standards.

Because standards are what you do when no one's watching. Standards are what you uphold when it's inconvenient.

Standards are the difference between who you say you want to be and who you actually are.

So don't just set goals. Define who you need to become. Then set the standards that make that identity inevitable.

That's how you create a year that actually transforms you.

Hit reply and tell me: What's your main "I am" statement for 2026?

I read every response, and I'm genuinely curious what you're building toward.

Talk soon,

Jo

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